My Mother's Day Surprise

  I often think how much fun it is for the ladies whose babies are being born in the Facebook age. They have a vast audience to oohh and aahh at their baby's first photos, an instant birth announcement.
 I never sent out birth announcements for my children, nursing a new baby was about all I could handle, especially with my youngest child, Christina who was born in spring of 2002. I had her a month early because my gestational diabetes endangered her life. Giving birth early made my milk slow in coming in, giving her jaundice, which required an extra hospital visit. Add to that my c-section scar and the fact that Christina had Down syndrome, and you have one very frazzled mom, spending day and night trying to breastfeed a tiny five pound baby.
We eventually succeeded, Christina was an ardent nurser once my milk came in. My friends were wonderfully supportive, I didn't cook a meal till after her Baptism, which took place in the pouring rain on Mother's Day. Over one hundred people attended, and I felt very loved.

However, a precious opportunity, to photograph her as a newborn had passed me by. Or so I thought. Last Saturday I was speaking at the Connecticut Right to Life Convention, and Dr Brian Clowes of Human Life International was waiting his turn to present. We had met before, in 2002, when Christina was one month old. He asked my permission to take photographs of her. I was flattered because, by taking her photo,  he treated Christina, the baby with Down syndrome so often rejected by society,as evidenced by the 90% abortion rate,  as a celebrity. She was sound asleep in the baby sling, and we walked over to the window to catch the afternoon sunshine.


I never got to enjoy these amazing photos, as didn't see Dr Clowes for a decade. I mentioned his taking photos of Christina in my talk, and how that helped me understand that this little girl was going to be a light in this dark world, as Blessed Pope John Paul said, a sign of contradiction. To my utter shock, he said he knew where the photos were, and, true to his word, he sent them to me, on Mother's Day.
I was thrilled to gaze upon my newborn daughter's face again, and happy memories came flooding back. How that little pink preemie outfit was bought by mistake, and I gave it to my 8 year old to use for her dolls. When Christina was born prematurely, I asked for it back, and only fit her with the sleeves rolled up. How her sleeping smile lit up her face, and my Salvadorean in-laws said it meant she was dreaming of the Virgin Mary. How her little tongue used to protrude, and we taught her to keep it inside her mouth. How utterly delicious it is to have a newborn babe wrapped next to your heart.

I had had an amazing Mother's Day last Sunday.
My husband took the family to brunch at a local vineyard cafe, my daughters made me an exquisite card and bought me luxurious rosemary mint soap and tea spice scented candles from Old Sturbridge Village. My in-laws gave me a nectarine tree and a tiny white rosebush. I thought this was going down on record as the Mother's Day to remember. I had no idea how right I was!
How generous God is when you give your life to Him!

The gift of speech

Be grateful like blogger Kellie Dolin for your children's gift of speech, it truly is a gift. She shares on Faith & Family Live:

Sometimes I struggle with volume. “I’m standing right next to you,” I repeatedly tell one of my kids who seems to have one volume and that would be jarringly loud.
Sometimes it’s the sheer number of words. One of my kids is going to be a rapper one day. The words pour forth without pause.
But then I sit in church behind a woman whose son clearly struggles to have a voice, any voice.
Although I don’t always appreciate the message, I am so very blessed that he has a voice.

 I might be that mother in front of her in church. My ten year old daughter Christina has Down syndrome and hardly speaks. If she does, its in a whisper, or in her own particular sign language which I struggle to understand. We are doing all kinds of therapy, using Ipads and sign language, but her speech has diminished when most kids are adding to their vocabulary. It hurts me to the core.

 Recently I viewed a home video from when she was five, answering questions from daddy, with much more speech than she has now. This happens with Down syndrome, and though we have hope in many of the clinical studies being conducted now to improve cognition in those with Down syndrome to give her the connections she needs in her brain to process speech, until then,  each day is a struggle to communicate.

My constant prayer to Jesus is for Him to tell her "Ephphatha!"(be opened)
If that comes when we are both in His presence, so be it. It will be worth the wait.

Two great books for a special mother on Mother's Day

Author and special mom Amy Julia Becker was kind enough to plug my book on her blog, "Thin Places".
She suggests that moms deserve a good book or two for Mother's Day.
 I couldn't agree more!

A Christina Day at Old Sturbridge Village

Christina has been off from school all week. No one else has off from school, Gabbi is preparing for chemistry, psychology,  and physiology finals, and Bella is reading The Divine Comedy as expeditiously as possible since all three books arrived from inter-library loan on the same day and must be returned soon. I have enjoyed reading it with her, but I wanted to give Christina some one on one time.

The spring weather is sunny and delightful, so I took Christina to Old Sturbridge Village to see the spring lambs. My camera batteries were dead, so we have no lamb photos.
I decided to give Christina the gift of time. We would go through OSV on her timetable (within reason, or we might still be there!) We spent as long as she wanted on what she wanted to see. No pushing her through pretty houses for my viewing pleasure or forcing her to sit through talks she doesn't understand.
She led me to sit in the schoolhouse, where she enjoys the desks and the company of the children, the coopers shop, where she impressed the cooper (barrel maker) with her skills at the wood shaping bench (this is her fifth time to OSV this year) and the barnyard where we watched the animals. We gazed at the lovely little white lambs tagging along behind their massive wooly mothers, responding to their calls with tiny bleats, and nursing with gusto as they rammed their little heads into mom's belly for more milk! What a delight it was to see her enjoy herself on the playground, when she has been denied it at school because of the risk of falling with her delicate vertebrae.
Walking leisurely through the village, stopping for a picnic or two, taking time to splash in the stone sink in one house, and trace a twig in the water of a horse trough, gave me a sense that I was on vacation. It was the most enjoyable day I've spent at OSV, with no agenda besides following Christina's lead. I wondered why I haven't done it this way before, and resolve to make tomorrow another Christina day at home. Maybe we'll walk along the river, or sit and watch birds in our little shrine in the woods.
Whenever I am interviewed about raising a child with Down syndrome, I always praise Christina's ability to stop and smell the flowers, but too often I forget to allow her to slow me down to life in the moment, absorbing the sights, sounds and aromas of life.

Thank you Lord, for this gift of a child who has the gift of living in the moment. Help me to learn from her to relish the details of this wonderful life we share.

A spring swim with daddy and Christina

The water was too frigid for Mom to join in, but Christina enjoyed it with gusto and Daddy was a good sport, helping her swim safely.

Easter at our house

Gabbi is inducted into Phi Theta Kappa

Its a moment close to any mother's heart, but especially dear when you homeschooled your daughter for eleven years. This is what you dreamt about when you pictured her future, an intelligent, articulate young woman meeting life's challenges with success.


 Gabbi's grade point average of 3.7 at Three Rivers Community College where she takes her difficult pre-nursing courses (pre-calculus, Anatomy and Physiology and Organic Chemistry) is a source of pride to her and her family. She was inducted this week into the national honor society for community colleges, Phi Theta Kappa.

We have high hopes for her future as a nursing student at Franciscan University of Steubenville.

Congratulations, to my beautiful scholar, you have really done well with the gifts God has given you. You are an inspiration to your younger sisters and a source of pride for your father and I. Your future is bright, you can do anything you want to do.
We love you Gabbi!

Kinospot "Schulchor": One School for All

The Ipad and Christina

Christina loves the computer, with the Starfall site she learned her letters, and she goes on PBS Kids often. We have applied for a grant for an Ipad 3 . She used it in speech therapy at UCONN Hearing and Speech Center, and has one at school she can't take home. Rather than watch movies when she comes home on inclement days, I'd like to see if we can engage her in some of these Ipad apps on this website. 

So far, she loves the Tom the Kitten app, where a cute grey tabby cat repeats what she says. I will post our favorite apps here when we get the Ipad.
Check out this post on Down Syndrome New Mama about apps for kids with Down syndrome.

Meditation for Holy Week on Christ crowned in thorns

Was the horrible sight of the crowning of thorns the first and only time Our Lady saw Jesus crowned in humility? The Lord's whole earthly life, taking on the nature of a human being was a humiliation. Since no man before Christ was born perfect and sinless and the teaching of the Trinity cannot be known through human reason alone, who on earth is able to distinguish the God-Man from sinful humanity? How humble is the Lord! It is similar to entering a penitentiary, wearing prison garb, yet never having committed a crime and being willing to be seen first as a criminal. How many examples must Our Lady have witnessed of this unending display of humility which culminates in the Lord's Crowning with thorns and cruel mockery by the soldiers.

Our Blessed Lady herself said to St. Bridget, "I heard some say that my Son was a thief; others, that He was an impostor; others, that no one deserved death more than He did; and every word was a new sword of grief to my heart."
St. Alphonsus di Liguori, The Glories of Mary, 446-7.

St. Augustine says: Man sinned and became guilty; God is born a man to free man from his guilt. Man fell, but God descended; man fell miserably, but God descended mercifully; man fell through pride, God descended with his grace.
St. Augustine
Office of Readings , Saturday from January 2nd to Epiphany
from the daily email of Mary Vitamin. 

(Helen, known as "Mary Vitamin" has just lost her mother, please remember her in your prayers)

A College Visit to Franciscan University of Steubenville

I have been preparing her for this all her life. When Gabbi my oldest of three daughters was five, we brought her to Franciscan University of Steubenville for Mass and told her, "you're going to college here some day." I didn't mean it lightly; a good Catholic college education was one of my goals for my daughters, albeit a far off goal when we were beginning homeschooling in 1998.

Gabbi and her friend Annete in front of the Chapel

Fast forward twelve years to last week, and her first visit to Franciscan for a college interview, Gabbi is applying to their RN program.  After twelve hours on the road, I should have been able to sleep soundly this night before her visit to Franciscan University, but I wasted time fighting my own feelings of loss.It was obvious to me that my daughter's heart has flown from our home to the college on the hill above the Ohio River.  A big, silent sob burst out of me. Thankfully Gabbi was already sleeping. Having my oldest daughter live 12 hours away from home is a sacrifice I knew would cost me dearly, but I didn't want to cast a shadow on her big day. It was what we both wanted and planned for during those twelve years since our visit.

She was up before me, nervously doing her hair as she made sure I wasn't late for her 8:30 nursing class. I had time to take in the university while she was gone, blooming flowers and students in shorts as a spring heat wave caused spring flowers to burst into early blooms. I was charmed by the kindness of the staff I met, no question was too detailed, and no story too long to capture their interest. We were soon on a tour of the campus. Statures of St Francis, Our Lady and Christ, soon made us feel at home and we were impressed with the guides' familiarity of the University Mission to bring Christ to the world, which they explained in detail throughout the tour.

The Portiuncula

The Student Center was colorful with bulletins announcing pro-life rallies, prayer vigils at abortion clinics, socials,  and famous speakers on bioethics. Students were sociable and polite, easy to engage in conversation and passionate whenever the Church was discussed. I was falling in love with this school and happily parted with Gabbi as she met one of her friends attending the school for lunch.
During the parents-only luncheon, the Admissions Director was peppered with questions about the faculty's adherence to the Magisterium and how many were Catholic. "We have five faculty members who are not Catholic," she answered, "there were six, but then one spoke to Scott Hahn!" I met parents who knew one of our new priests from the Diocese of Norwich, CT and suddenly home didn't seem so far away.

Prof Helen Alvare

Soon, I found myself alone for the evening, Gabbi was to spend the night in her friend's dorm room. What could have been an awkward moment, Mom feeling at odds in her daughter's school, was more of an opportunity,  as I had noted a number of prominent speakers on bioethics were present for a conference. I spent the rest of the day discussing issues of bioethics and sexual morality with former USCCB spokeswoman,  Helen Alvare who called Franciscan "ground  zero of Catholic Higher Education."
I discussed my book and my advocacy for the rights of babies with Down syndrome to a friendly audience engaged in the struggle against the Culture of Death. Helen Alvare warmly embraced me as thanks for my work and for writing "A Special Mother is Born".

John Paul II Library

I returned to the hotel alone yet grateful that my daughter would be attending a university which attracted such Catholic superstars and important discussions. The morning found us reuniting at Mass, one of three daily Masses packed with the entire student body who participated wholeheartedly, singing the hymns of both tradition and praise, in full voice. Later, we sat in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel, a scale model of St Francis' Portiuncula, amid a dozen students deep in prayer, and thanked God that my homeschooling efforts had been blessed with success, that Gabbi was qualified to study at such a fine Catholic school, but more for the fact that in her heart she longed for such a school where her mind and soul would be prepared to meet the challenges of bringing the culture of life to a darkened world.

We left the college after lunch, reluctantly, taking many photos and buying a shirt for everyone in the family. We were hoping to share our joy in our discovery of this wonderful college with the rest of our family, knowing that words would not be enough to convey the exuberant faith which emanates from this place. I prayed for an opportunity to attend, as my parents had, a summer conference at Franciscan with my husband Francisco, so that releasing our daughter to the world in this worthy college would be a triumph to him as well. We drove home over the Pennsylvania mountains leaving part of our hearts behind in what we knew had already become my daughter's second home, anxious for a chance to share our stories with our friends in Connecticut.

Life a Burden? After-birth abortion outrage sparked in UK

Day 21 of 21 Words for 21 Days: World Down Syndrome Day

Dr Brian Skotko, Christina and Leticia

“We call on all people of good will to ensure that health protection is grounded in a renewed spirituality: every patient is my brother.”

Servant of God, 

Dr Jerome Lejeune

Day 20 of 21 Words for 21 Days

“The genetic makeup of a human being is complete from the moment of fertilization: not a single scientist doubts it. What some of them want to debate is the amount of respect due to an individual based on her stage of development. If a human being is a half-inch long, does she deserve respect? If she is 20 inches long, does she deserve 40 times more? People who use years and pounds to quantify the respect due to another human being are not well intentioned.”

Servant of God, Dr Jerome Lejeune

Christina's tenth birthday celebrations

Chrissy and Grandpa. 

Bella and Gabbi having fun.

Ten years never flew faster than this decade of my youngest daughter's life. Ten years when she taught her family to love with a more intense love, celebrate with a greater joy, and laugh heartier laughs. To notice the daffodils budding, the sunshine in the trees,  and watch the bluebirds flying overhead. She turned up the volume on our thanksgiving prayers, gave us the gift of patience, and made us into activists.
Christina has given me the courage to finally begin that writing career, and this week, my book "A Special Mother is Born"  will be on sale in the United Nations Bookstore!
Thank you to my funny, musical, loving daughter with the extra chromosome, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are the song in my heart!

Birthday party at home

Birthday party at Grandpa's house

You can't miss a farmer at heart!

Christina likes to play school in the schoolhouse. 

A lovely 1830's family!

Christina loves the cooper's workbench!

Always the daddy's girl!

We learned it takes 40 gals of sap to make one gallon of syrup!

Aunt Mila and Daddy love Christina.

Riding a HUGE sheep!

Break from walking is time for a hug!

Daddy and Uncle Manuel love Christina. 

Lovely sunshine!

They saw fish swimming against the current. 

The family had a wonderful time!

Christina loves sheep!

Her sisters made amazing cupcakes from "Despicable Me"

The dynamic duo, Chrissy and Mary!

To celebrate Christina's ten years, we all spent a sunny, warm spring day in Old Sturbridge Village. Its a peaceful place, where she knows the way around and happily visits her favorite sites, the schoolhouse, the cooper's workshop,  the barnyard, and, of course, the candy shop!