My experiences with the rosary

In honor of the feast day of Our Lady of the Rosary, read my story on how the rosary has become woven into the fabric of my life in my story, "A Mother's Mysteries" on Rosary.com.
Cross posted at Catholic Mom.com and Catholic TV

Mom has been richly blessed

A big hug to all of you who are remembering to pray for my mother who is ill with cancer. She has been hosptialized since her birthday July 5 ,and is holding court every day with a constant flow of visitors. We have to ask people to postpone their visits to give Mom time to rest. Her visitors have included no fewer than six priests.
Mom has been annointed with the Sacrament of the Sick and received the Apostolic Blessing which carries with it a Plenary Indulgence. She is peaceful and offers up her suffering for her nurses and family. Dad is sleeping at her side in the hospital and my brother Bill the RN is a constant advisor and comfort. Rob my other brother keeps the dog company and gives Dad time to go to Mass on Sundays. I come down with the girls on the weekend to clean the house for Mom's return sometime this week.
Keep the prayers coming, God is good.

My friend is the Motherhood Examiner for Long Island

You will find Elizabeth's column up here.
Go and see what this prominent Catholic Long Island mother has to say.

Happy Mother's Day!

A children's book for Mother's Day: Let me Hold You Longer

Karen Kingsbury is the mother of six children. Her book can be purchased on her website.

The courage of some mothers really inspire me

I am gaining new followers on Twitter every day, and it fascinates me to learn about each one. One pro-life mom of 5, Elizabeth Esther is a great blogger, and posted this wonderful story about a mom who just wouln't give up on Emmanuelle. These difficult times call for true pro-life heroism. She wrote, "We were adamant that God’s will be done and we knew ending our baby’s life was not our decision. We were told we were naïve, foolish, selfish, thoughtless-“do you think this baby wants to live, you have no idea what this will do to your family.”
Yet she carried her baby to term, and two years later she is surpassing all expectations.
Happy Mother's Day to all you brave women out there who don't listen to doomsday doctors, who put your own life on the line to save your baby.
There is a special reward awaiting you in heaven.

Remember this

The girls had a half day today, and are stuck inside together. Bickering.

So, Lord, please help me remember this moment last week, before I intervene.

I was writing on the computer when Christina took my hand to show me something in the living room.
She had lined up puppets and stuffed animals on chairs, with rosaries in front of them. Her little finger is in the photo indicating that they have the rosary.

She's playing family rosary!

Thank you, Lord for these moments of grace to sustain my patience in the trials of everyday mothering.

Beautiful Testimony to celebrate World Down Syndrome Day.

I am blogging at Mom Writer's Literary Magazine

Take a look at how I reconciled myself to Connecticut Critters.

Raising Joey and Cause of Our Joy bloggers meet

Blogger Mommy of Raising Joey finally got to meet Christina and I last Saturday night.

We have been emailing for over 2 years, and she has plans for me to get involved in the Connecticut Down Syndrome Congress, where she is making major strides reaching out to physicians and Genetic Counselors to educate them about the truth of life with Down syndrome. I plan to help her in any way I can to reach out.

Sadly, one of the truths about Down syndrome is that little Joey, who was born on Christina's fourth birthday, had to undergo bowel surgery on Monday. He is recovering now, and could use your prayers.

I have a feeling that this team is going to change Connecticut for the better.

Sarah Palin: should the mother of an infant be Vice President?

The thought occurred to me while I was rejoicing in Senator McCain's good taste: should the mother of an infant, much less an infant with Down syndrome be seeking even more responsibility than she already has?

You know I love her as a person, I posted about her back in April when her youngest son, Trig was born. I love her as a moral, pro-life, no-favorites politician. But should a Christian woman with a young infant be doing this?

Those of you who read this blog know how much of my time is invested in my children. A home schooling mother is very busy; add dozens of therapy appointments a month and a writing career, a teaching job and you have an overwrought mother with a cluttered home. My girls have expressed a desire to attend school, so I am making a move to Connecticut for good Catholic schools to alleviate some of this pressure, and focus more on writing.

For fifteen years, I have had to work in addition to mothering. I don't have a choice; my husband's siblings and parents in El Salvador depend on him for financial support, so I have to pitch in. When the girls were younger, I ran a preschool in my home. They had lots of friends, plenty to do; art, story time, outdoor play, field trips, etc. but less alone time with Mom. For the past 8 years, I worked part-time teaching English at a local college; they got more attention from Daddy, they went on bike rides and out to lunch at the restaurant down the road on the beach. Their relationship strengthened; but the house was a wreck when I got home from a five hour class on Saturday afternoon. I (usually) bit my tongue and tried to focus on my husband and children's happiness while I cleaned up, with their help.

Every decision has it's price. I think the mind of the Church on this issue is that Catholic women have a duty to exercise their prudential judgement on this. Elizabeth Foss rightly pointed out that soon to be Blessed Zelie Martin, mother of St Therese of Lisieux, operated a lace-making business out of her home. St. Gianna Berretta Molla worked as a Pediatrician while her children were young. The famous Old Testament feminine role model, the Proverbs 31 woman made cloth at home, sold it in the public square and brought both prosperity and honor to her family. Danielle Bean, Michele Quigley, and Heidi Hess Saxton edit good Catholic magazines while raising their children. My point is, that although these women are engaged in business activities, their family is their first priority. I know stay at home mothers whose volunteer or social activities encroach upon their mothering time.

We have to seek the will of God for our particular situation and in charity, refrain from criticizing one another. To correct a friend who is going astray in this direction, is the loving thing to do, but until you know the particulars of a working mother, please don't sit in judgement of her. I've been hurt by the judgements of fellow homeschooling mothers with more comfortable financial circumstances, who see all mothers who work as vain and materialistic.

I understand that stay at home mothers are tired of their vital role in raising children for heaven being mocked and this may account for a backlash against Sarah Palin. But I urge you to consider the powerful witness Sarah can be as Vice President. She can be a positive role model of a true feminist; pro-life, pro-family, faithful Christian, whose family life blends with her political career. Her husband is very supportive and isn't afraid of doing his share of child care; and we all know that this is crucial to the success of any working mother. I love when she described how she puts down the blackberry and picks up the breast pump. I would probably try to do both at once and make a hash of it!

Danielle Bean has quite a lively discussion on this subject going on at Faith and Family Live.

9/17 UPDATE: Elizabeth Miller has a great post on how Sarah Palin might be a source of unity for women on this issue.

Book Review: "Roadmap to Holland"

Roadmap to Holland
By Jennifer Graf Groneberg
292 pages
I have had the privelege of corresponding with Jennifer via her blog "Pinwheels" and am a great admirer of her literary talent. Now I admire her as a mother as well.

Those of us who give birth to children with Down syndrome have been likened to travelers to Italy who find that their plane unexpectedly lands in Holland. The title “Roadmap to Holland” is a reference to that famous essay by Emily Perl Kingsley, who worked for decades writing for Sesame Street and whose son Jason has Down syndrome.
She has for generations provided this invaluable wisdom for new parents of children with Down syndrome. In “Roadmap to Holland” we meet Jennifer, a new and compassionate companion on our journey raising a child who is both very different, and yet surprisingly similar to our other children.

Jennifer and her husband Tom had the perfect life; both writers, they lived on a peninsula on a lake in Montana; they worked in their home office down the hill from their home, surrounded by peace and tranquility of nature. Their life was enlivened by the joy of a young son, Carter. Just what inspired them to test fate by conceiving again? This question kept returning to Jennifer’s mind as the difficulties in her journey to Holland began to reveal themselves. Twin boys, Bennett and Avery and were born seven weeks premature with the daunting possibility of lifelong repercussions. Just when Jennifer thought the news couldn’t get worse, she was informed that Avery, her little blue-eyed boy with a full head of blond hair, had Trisomy 21, an extra 21st chromosome. Jennifer’s first reaction, like so many, was an urge to flee, leaving all the fears behind. She, however being the valiant woman she is, stayed the course, and, for months commuted to the hospital, pumping her milk round the clock, holding her babies by turns, caring for her older son, longing for a full night’s sleep, until, finally, her little boys came home, one by one to the little house by the lake.

Jennifer’s story is a vivid, day by day journal of some of the most devoted mothering in modern literature, tempered by her honest descriptions of her personal growth in acceptance of Avery’s diagnosis. Her vivid descriptions of each scene, draws us into her life’s journey so deeply that we are reluctant to see the book end. “Roadmap” evoked so many of my own fond and painful memories as the mother of a daughter with Trisomy 21, that I feel as if I could easily spend a quiet winter afternoon at the little house by the lake chatting with her by the fireplace, sipping tea as our children play at our feet.

Still searching for the spiritual underpinnings of life, Jennifer is not afraid to admit that she has not found all of life’s answers, yet she is powerfully articulate describing the beauty of what she has found; that life with three little boys, one of whom has an extra chromosome, is a blessing she never would have anticipated. She has been enriched by her experience in ways which, until this book came out, many other mothers could not appreciate: she cites the tragic statistic that 90% of expectant mothers whose unborn child is diagnosed with Down syndrome choose to end it’s life. Books like “Roadmap to Holland” provide support to mothers facing the daunting prospect of raising a special needs child; they know that they are not alone. They can pick up this volume; and enter into Jennifer’s world of challenges, tears, and triumphs, where, through sleep-hooded eyes; a grateful mother can still see the sun shine.

I recommend this book for mothers who are facing challenges, and seek companionship on their journey. Jennifer has an extraordinarily detailed description of the therapies available for our children, coupled with a complete appendix with resources for parents of children with Down syndrome. I hope that “Roadmap to Holland” joins “Gifts” on the bookshelves of obstetricians and genetic counselors who want to give their patients a realistic yet inspiring idea of what it’s really like to raise a child with Trisomy 21 in today’s world.

I just joined the Extraordinary Moms Network

Here is my first post. See the image in my sidebar.

Before a mother can lay herself down to sleep tonight. . .

I got this from a friend by email, do you see yourself here?
Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed." She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.
She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip, and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse. Mom then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night solution & age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.
Dad called out, 'I thought you were going to bed.' 'I'm on my way,' she said. She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and TV's, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one still up doing homework.
In her own room, she set the alarm;laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack.She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers. About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. 'I'm going to bed.'And he did...without another thought.
Now, look at this lovely painting of the Blessed Mother and the child Jesus. That's what keeps me going at the end of a long day. She did all this and, remember there was no running water, refrigeration, or electricity in Nazareth.

An Urgent Prayer Intention: Stacey P. a pregnant mom with brain cancer

I had heard of Stacey's situation last week from a friend and now from my email:

This is Erin Hopkins with a very urgent and sincere request for prayers. My friend and one-time college roommate is battling brain cancer and has been receiving chemo and radiation for nearly one year. Stacey is a mother to two young children and a wife to Joey, they live in Atlanta. She just found out that she is 18 weeks pregnant. She became pregnant during her chemo and radiation and therefore, the baby has been exposed to these chemicals from day one. She has opted to take a 10 week break from her treatment to allow the baby to reach 28 weeks gestation, when they will deliver the baby via C-section. She has been informed by her baby-related doctors that the chemo is very strong and particularly attacks DNA growth in cells and therefore the baby. They are quite certain that there will be neurologic damage to the baby, although the ultrasounds have thus far showed relatively normal growth.

Additionally, her cancer-related doctors have told her that they do not want her to stop her treatment of cancer (even for 10 wks!) because her cancer is so aggressive. They said that if they allowed her to carry the baby to 40 weeks gestation, she would probably not live to deliver the baby. So, Stacey is choosing to give her child a chance and risk her own life. I still cannot believe the situation that this family has been put in, even as I type this. As a member of Stacey's network of support and prayers, I am asking that you specifically say a prayer to Pope John Paul II. He is in the process of being named a saint and needs a second miracle to "qualify" for sainthood. We have decided to storm heaven with prayers to our former Pope, specifically asking him to stop the growth of Stacey's cancer while she stops her treatment.

Erin, you have the prayers of the Velasquez family.

Many of you may also be calling to mind the story of St. Gianna Molla, whom JPII canonized in the 1994, whose story is very similar to Stacey's. Finally, I just want to thank you for having read this far. I appreciate the time you took to read this and say a prayer for Stacey, her unborn child and her family. Stacey herself asks that we be sure to pray for her husband, Joey who is truly heartbroken.

William Tell Overture for Moms

Is up at Cause Nostrae Laetitiae. Go and see how much we say in a given day to our dear children!

How to help our children learn independence

Barbara Curtis, mom of 12 including three children with Down syndrome, blogger, and author of 6 books and over 700 articles, has some wisdom to share in a recent article she wrote for Crosswalk, an online magazine. She claims that toddler meltdowns are not necessary and may be a sign that we moms are missing chances to grant them learning opportunities and greater independence.


This made me examine my daily life with Christina. She is very independent and while there are plenty of times this must be curtailed, as in "NO, Christy, you may NOT go to the road and take the mail out of the mailbox by yourself". There are, however plenty of times when I limit her independence unnecessarily in the course of an average day for my own convenience. I don't want to wait for her to pull her pants up after potty time, or pick out a mismatched outfit to wear, or let her clear her own dish from the table when it's sure to lead to spills on the floor. I clean up her toys rather than asking for her help, and don't remember to let her help set the table for dinner. She's good at pulling laundry out of the dryer, whether she's asked or not, so why not ask her? In addition to setting up artificial settings for learning, perhaps I could slow down a bit and allow her some of the opportunities she's been throwing herself on the floor and crying for!

I think we special moms run the risk in this area particularly because our children may not be able to do what their typical peers can do, and we fall into the overbearing mom trap. I will always remember a story of a mom in my family whose son with Down syndrome was 50 years old before he put on his own hat. His mother, then deceased, had always done it for him. What pride Mickey in putting on his own hat! What a shame he missed 43 years of doing it!

Don't let your children become addicted to excitement

Dennis Prager at Townhall.com makes the point that craving excitement is a bad thing,
If you want your children to be happy adults and even happy children -- and what parent does not? -- minimize the excitement in their lives. The more excitement, the less happy they are likely to be.
In both adults and children, one can either pursue excitement or pursue happiness, but one cannot do both. If you pursue excitement, you will not attain happiness. If you pursue happiness, you will still experience some moments of excitement, but you will attain happiness only if happiness, not excitement, is your goal.

So many of the best things in life are routine, and could be described initially as dull; eating meals together as a family, your children's nighttime prayers, the same flowers blooming in your summer garden, year after year, your mother's phone calls, the slow progress your children make in their studies, a bug discovered by your toddler in the backyard, the same vacation spot you always go to, and the same liturgy every Sunday, with the same Body of Christ you receive.
See what we would be missing if we look past the routine in mad pursuit of novelty?! Our Lord Himself, who chooses to come to us in the humble appearance of ordinary bread.
That's why advertisers are making commercials which change scenes every three seconds, and include special effects like things blowing up, magic cereal, and flying kids. Anything I have to offer as a homeschooling mother is pretty dull compared to this display.
As a high school English as a Second Language teacher, I remember my Principal saying, "you have to stimulate the students, and include the five senses in every lesson." Oh, really! This includes, of course, smell and taste, which I foolishly believed belonged to Home Economics.
So I designed a St. Patrick's Day lesson around the five senses. I made Irish soda bread and Irish tea (smell and taste) brought in my Aran sweater and linen tablecloth set with Irish Belleek china (which I let them touch with trepidation) and played Irish music, so that their ears wouldn't get too tired of listening to their teacher. There, I thought, all five senses stimulated, the Principal and administrators observing me will be impressed.
But alas, it was not enough! The Principal's comments were negative, and this was his suggestion for improving the lesson, "you should have danced the Irish jig". The Irish jig, a pregnant middle-aged teacher dancing (poorly) a jig for adolescents! The image was too nightmarish to be funny!
So, now that I realize I will never be an exciting teacher to anyone, I can relax, and simply help open up the universe of learning. My children, freed from the need to be constantly stimulated a can settle down, learn, and enjoy life. Our family can relax and be our ordinary selves, loving one another, day after day so predictably. I will try to cherish my 52nd dandelion bouquet from little hands as much as the first, and we will be happy. Happy to have comforting, dull routines which constantly ensure me how much I are loved.

Have you lost an unborn child?

I have lost three children to early miscarriage, on St. Patrick's Day, Good Friday, and St. Padre Pio's Day. Why do I know the dates? Because these children will always remain part of me until I can see them in heaven.
If you have had difficulty finding books to read while mourning your little ones, you might find comfort in Karen Garver Santorum's book, "Letters to Gabriel". In it, she published her actual journal entries during her pregnancy with her son Gabriel, whom she lost due to an infection caused by inter uterine surgery to save him from a fatal anomaly. The extraordinary lengths which Karen and her husband Senator Rick Santorum went through to save Gabriel's life while the Senator was defending the Partial-Birth Abortion ban, is truly poignant. The babies killed by this gruesome procedure, were the same gestational age as the Santorum's son, who was fighting to live. Once, during a particularly tense moment of Senator Santorum's speech, the cry of a baby pierced the silence of the Senate chamber. Senator Santorum felt it was the voice of Gabriel, pleading for innocent lives.
Gabriel's brief life was full of love from his family, and his legacy, which we now see, is the uplifting of the dignity of all human life, and the eventual decision by the Supreme Court to uphold the Partial-birth abortion ban.
Thank you, Senator and Mrs. Santorum, for allowing us a look into this most painful episode of your private life, in order to give us a glimpse of true courage in suffering.

Call for submissions: our book on Catholic special needs mothers

As the summer ends, my co-author, Monica Rafie of Be Not Afraid.net and I would like to finish collecting the stories we will include in our book on Catholic Mothers of Special Needs Children(if you can suggest a title, we are still taking suggestions). This includes those of you whose children were seriously ill anytime after their birth, we know how needy these children are, and how many challenges we have face raising them. Here are some questions which we think should guide the writing of your story. If you don't want to write the entire story, just answer the questions, we will be happy to do the writing for you. If you would like to refer anyone, please give her my email address. leticia77@optonline.net

1. Are you a life-long Catholic or a convert?
2. What parish do you attend? Are you active in your parish? Do you participate in any Catholic organizations or apostolates? (please list)
3. Did you receive a prenatal diagnosis? Y/N
—If yes, please tell us about your baby. What was your baby’s diagnosis? When in your pregnancy was your baby diagnosed?
—If no, tell us when you learned that there was a problem with your baby.
4. How specifically did your Catholic faith help you to accept what was happening to your family?
5. Did you then, or do you now have devotion to a particular saint as a result of your baby’s diagnosis, experiences, or from your own previous devotions? If so, are there any particular stories about the saint (or other saints) interceding for you, your family, or your child?
6. If you don’t already have a story written, consider setting up a very basic outline of events that walk us through the experience you wish to share about. We can help you to fill in your outline if needed.
Thanks very much for participating! We will use this set of questions to identify and draw out the different elements in your story that are most appropriate for our book.

God bless,
Monica and Leticia