Thoughts on bearing fruit, and loss of loved ones

From the blog of my friend Dr Gerard Nadal,  Coming Home 
Note: It’s been two weeks like no other. Yesterday we had the funeral mass and burial of Jon in Warwick, NY. We also had the memorial for Kortney and Sophy in Virginia.

Today, on the Lord’s Day, we rest.

Tomorrow, all will return to our lives and a new normal, a phase of healing and living the rest of our lives marked indelibly by the searing events of the past two weeks. As we keep the Blythe, Gordon, and Scharfenberger families in our prayers.

Here’s Deacon Kandra:

By a happy coincidence, this gospel touches on a theme that was so vital to Pope John Paul. In the parable, a tree is given one more chance to bring forth good fruit. The gardener gives it that chance; he offers it the gift of mercy. John Paul, you’ll remember, was beatified on the Feast of Divine Mercy. In fact, the opening prayer for this mass begins, “Oh God, who are rich in mercy…”

My take on loss and bearing good fruit

Today we bid farewell to Sr John Baptist SCRC, a beautiful nun who was only 50 years old of cancer, and dozens of people have come to her beside to pray one last time with Sister whose tender blue eyes and ever-present smile reflected Heaven.

My 14 year old daughter Bella was musing on what a shame is was that good people like Jon, Kortney and Sr John Baptist go home so young. We were peeling apples for a pie at the kitchen table. Suddenly she picked up an apple and said with a smile, “God always picks the ripe apples!”

Jon, Kortney and Sr John Baptist have accomplished their purpose in this life. No, we’re not satisfied, we wanted Jon to save more babies, either marry or go into the priesthood, and we know Benjamin Gordon wanted to raise his unborn daughter Sofy with his new wife Kortney. 

We wanted Sr John Baptist to beam her radiant smile at us, take our hands, as she always did, and reassure us that “this too will pass” as we mourn her death.

But these three have accomplished their life’s mission, sanctity. This is our mission as well, we are all called to be saints, these three were ‘ripe’ in that they were already full of God’s grace and love, and ready to go home. That is why the pain felt at their loss is so keen. The loss of their sweetness seems unbearable and unjust. 

We mustn’t begrudge God His excellent taste in wanting to pick the ripe apples. After all, they drew their sweetness from Him. 

Abuelito is gone

Please pray for the repose of the soul of Antonio Chicas Velasquez, my father-in-law who left this life today at his home in El Salvador while we were praying for him at Mass. My husband's father was 74 and had chronic obstructive breathing disorder. 
Antonia met us in 2004 when Christina was a baby. He taught her to walk, patiently walking her over and over again across the living room floor. The two spent hours together on the floor with Lego blocks, and she always loved it when he would push her on the swings.
God have mercy on your soul, suegro, may the angels lead you into paradise.
Vaya con dios.

November is the month of the Holy Souls

My column this month at Catholic Mom is about the happy death of my mother, Eleanor and the blessing she was to her family in her final days.

Please remember to pray for her and she will pray for you.

It's called Into the Mercy.

Feast of the Little Flower St Therese of Lisieux

The Last poem written by St. Therese
Soon, soon, to heaven that waits for us, my soul shall swiftly fly.
O Thou who can'st to smile on me at dawn of life's beginning!
Come once again to smile on me.... Mother! the night is nigh.
I fear no more thy majesty, so far, so far above me,
For, I have suffered sore with thee; now hear my heart's deep cry!
Oh! let me tell thee face to face, dear Virgin! how I love thee;
And say to thee forevermore:
thy little child am I.

HT Mary Vitamin

Shared grief shared burdens

Fr Stephen has some comments on his experience of grief on his blog

I especially appreciate the feeling of kinship among those who have experienced grief.

"I think in the same manner we can “weep with those who weep” learning that such things are not utterly private as our culture often teaches, but that the loss and suffering of one is the loss and suffering of us all. Even Christ wept over the grave of his friend Lazarus."

I noticed that those who were the most generous with their time and on target with their condolences were those who have also experienced loss of a loved one. Grief deepens your capacity for empathy, if you are centered in a life of prayer and liturgy.
Thank God for our wonderful Church, and my wonderful family and friends.

Into the Mercy

Just fifteen minutes before the hour of mercy, 3PM, my mother, Eleanor Bonk Crafa, left this vale of tears to fly into the loving merciful arms of Jesus.

She was surrounded by her family and we prayed a Chaplet of Divine Mercy to send her off. She had been given an Apostolic Blessing, which carries a plenary indulgence and received holy communion this morning.

It was a happy death.



Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon her.
May her soul and the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.
Amen

On dying well and the loving care of God

I am continually surprised how perfectly God meets my spiritual needs. I discovered that, because of Christina's new bus schedule, I found myself sitting in front of St Mary of the Immaculate Conception Church in Baltic, dropping off my children at school just in time to enter the church to prepare for daily Mass. It's a dream often deferred, attending daily Mass, something we strove for but never fully achieved as homeschoolers, and now I can attend Mass in peace, and pray for my family. You can be sure that my writing will improve.
On my first day at Mass, Fr Tito encouraged those of us who work to win souls for Christ, assuring us that that desire was put in our hearts by God Himself. I was inspired to go home and begin to catch up on various book reviews and article which have been piling up. On my way out the door, I noticed copies of the National Catholic Register and read In Person interview of Fr Tadeusz Pacholczyk on his work in the National Catholic Bioethics Center. A friend whom I met at Ryan Barrett's funeral told me that Fr Tad patiently counseled her throughout her parents' illness on what health decisions were morally licit in view of Church teaching. I was anxious to hear Fr Tad's reflections on the graces of a good death:
"The graces of dying well are enormous, because there is a possibility for real closure and transition for everybody. For the person who dies, it is the transition into the next life. But for those who are left behind, they can feel that they did things as best they could; they did them well; they were present. Yes, it may be hard and there may be suffering, but there can also be moments of healing and moments of seeing into the person who is about to leave, things that they may have never seen before. Those moments are a part of the human journey.
There certainly will be some tensions and pain, but I am convinced that the Lord is in the details, and he knows all of this. The particular trajectory of each of our deaths, like our lives, is in the Lord’s hands, and he fine-tunes many of those details for the benefit of those around us who are perhaps approaching death for the first time or really struggling with it. This is the mystery of grace at work. The Holy Spirit is ever present in our hospitals and in our dying moments."

Prayers for a Happy Death

Older Catholics remember saying prayers for a happy death throughout their lives. Now we shudder at the thought, avoiding the very thought that we are mortal. We don't prepare for death, we avoid the very thought of it.
That leaves people like me who are preparing a loved one for their journey home to Jesus feeling very alone. Yet in the CCC 1020 we read:
"The Christian who unites his own death to that of Jesus views it as a step towards him and an entrance into everlasting life. When the Church for the last time speaks Christ’s words of pardon and absolution over the dying Christian, seals him for the last time with a strengthening anointing, and gives him Christ in viaticum [a final Eucharist] as nourishment for the journey, she speaks with gentle assurance [in this Prayer of Commendation]"
"
Thank God for my friend and fellow writer Pat Gohn, who has written this piece on Dying with the confidence of a saint on Catholic Exchange.

A Message from Mary Ellen Barrett

When a tragedy hits, sometimes the newspapers get it wrong. This happened when my friend, Mary Ellen Barrett's 14 year old autistic son Ryan was found dead at a family campout this Friday.
I have her permission to share her side of the story with you. Ryan will be buried in a Mass concelebrated with Mary Ellen's uncle Msgr Robert Brennan and the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal, whom Ryan had hoped to join this Wednesday.
Please keep the Barretts in your prayers.

"Ryan was a light in our lives and now that he is forever at the feetof Christ his light will shine even brighter for us.I know it’s been difficult for everyone, getting information piecemeal.
Here are some details, please feel free to share them or any part of this email.

Ryan was playing in a little stream a few yard from the campsite. His father and the others knew where he was and he was in view. Other kids were near him but after a bit they spread out. They were all very excited to be in the campsite, they had only just arrived. When theyc alled the kids for prayers Ryan didn’t come and after a very short time the rangers were called and then the state police and firemarshals.
They searched with dogs (my poor Ryan so terrified of them). Dave called me at 11:30pm and then every hour until our dear friend,who was scheduled to go up there Sat with his four boys, drove me upat 4:30am. I arrived there at about 8:00 and they were searching with a helicopter and infrared radar as well as divers. He was found atabout 10:30.
In the five minutes between the other kids being thereand his being called Ryan had a grand mal seizure and slipped into the stream, his body was found a few feet away in a drain in a culvert.
It is believed the seizure is what killed him although we don’t have confirmation of that yet. When Dave and I saw him, he looked very peaceful and that was of great comfort to us. Ryan received last rites at the campsite, two priests against all odds showed up in the middle of the woods at exactly the right time toadminister the sacrament. Only Ryan could have arranged that.
It was reported that Ryan wandered off and some reports were quite cruel in their tone. It just is not true. We did a brief interview with Newsday to try to correct that and have since had my brother dealing with turning away all of the news agencies. They have been like barbarians at the gate.
In the last 48 hours we have been so blessed by all of the prayers and love that we have received. My friend Chris has completely taken overand has made it possible for us to not have to think.
The Knights ofColumbus and Squires have also been incredible. I know all of the people on IHM and MO have been contacting Chris and lining up to help and we are just so grateful. The pain that David and I are in is too unbearable to speak about. I ask for your prayers for us and our children. Katie and Erin inparticular are old enough to understand and are completely devastated. Every time I look at them my heart breaks all over again. The little ones are sad and confused, not really understanding.
We are very mindful of how sad this is going to be for all of Ryan’ s friends in IHM. For many it will be there first experience with losinga friend and Dave and I are offering up some of our sorrow for their comfort. They have lost a dear friend but gained a mighty intercessor. In the coming weeks we will read all of the emails and posts and doour best to respond to everyone, in the meantime please be assured ofour gratitude and love for you all. "

How typical of Mary Ellen to offer up her sufferings for Ryan's friends! I hope to attend his funeral Wednesday.

Lest we forget

In Flanders Fields

By: Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, MD

(1872-1918) Canadian Army

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow

Between the crosses row on row,

That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly

Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved,

and now we lie In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:

To you from failing hands we throw

The torch; be yours to hold it high.

If ye break faith with us who die

We shall not sleep,

though poppies grow

In Flanders fields.

On a positively luminous spring afternoon, the tiny parade in Sprauge wound it's way through the old factory town by the river, while I watched under shady tree near the Veteran's Memorial. It was gratifying to see so many of my new friends in the parade, Christina's friend Tommy(with T21) with the cub scouts,Gabbi's, and Bella's friends on the sidelines, and my pastor, Fr Tito to give the invocation. In only 9 months, we have become part of this tight knit community of faithful Catholics, and Connecticut feels like home.
Here are two of the politicians who spoke at the ceremony:

Connecticut Congressman Joe Courtney, a Democrat, has a 05 pro-life voting record. His speech received moderate applause at the Sprauge Memorial Day service. Fr Tito, my pastor, who read Alex De Touqueville's quote, "America is great, because America is good, when American ceases to be good, it will no longer be great", received much stronger applause. We are in the conservative area of a liberal state.

Connecticut State Represenative Chris Coutu (R dist 47)on the other hand is a Catholic and votes like one. I met him one Saturday in September during his campaign, and he assured me he would think about voting like a Catholic. His HS teacher, Paul Tetrault, whom I met at the polling place, where he held pro-life signs, assured me that he would, or Chris would have to answer to him. He has a distinguished record of military and community service including volunteering in the Special Olympics(unlike our President who only uses it as the butt of jokes).

He voted against the terrible S899 bill legalizing gay marriage in Connecticut, and forcing homosexual agenda on the state's schoolchildren.

We salute you, veteran and proud Catholic in a cowardly Catholic state, Rep Chris Coutu!

Michael Dubriel has left us

It was the nightmare of every married person that befell our friend Amy Wellborn Dubriel yesterday. A call from the hospital about her husband, who had passed away while exercising. Michael was an outstanding Catholic writer and speaker with great plans under way to serve the Lord here on earth, yet he has been called too early to Heaven.
We will miss you, Michael, and pray for Amy and the children.
Here is an entry from Michael's blog Annunciations about the March for Life.
Here is a profoundly moving column, the last Michael would write, called One Seed Fell. Leave it to a great Catholic writer to give us words of comfort in her moment of grief.
We are offering our rosary for the Dubriel family.

Please pray for Bernadette Kelly and her family

Please pray for a homeschooling mother from NJ who is scheduled to deliver her daughter tomorrow by c-section. The baby, who has already been named Bernadette Kelly, is not expected to live long. She has anancephaly and the diagnosis has been known for some time. The mom's name is Barbara. Barbara has four other daughters. She is scheduled to have the c-section at 1pm.
Please pray for this family tomorrow and for the near future as they travel their own road to Calvary.
Thank you

Please pray for Johnette Benkovic

Who is the host of EWTN show Living His Life Abundantly. Her husband Anthony has just passed away. Here is his memorial website including their incredible video entitled, "Carrying the Cross Together".

They lost their son Simon to a tragic accident after he returned safely from Iraq, and actually shared together their plans for Anthony's death from cancer. What a witness they are to the sacrament of holy matrimony!