Read the entire article here.
Would Christina choose to have Down syndrome? I very much doubt it. Sometimes when our family is gathered around the table joking about one thing or another, Christina will turn to one of us and say sadly, “What are you guys laughing about?” In those moments my heart seizes. I wonder what fences she feels herself to be standing just outside.
And some of the losses Christina doesn’t even know about yet. For example, I haven’t had the heart to tell her that her dream of being a mom is one that will not come to pass, given her current level of capability. Our oldest child, 19-year-old Bridget, says that if she has babies someday, she will share them with Christina. It’s a beautiful impulse, but adult life can get complicated. Time will tell.
When I was pregnant with Christina, my husband and I were told, on the basis of my triple screen prenatal blood testing, that she was at high risk of having Down syndrome. We decided to bring her into the world anyway, feeling we were not wise enough, could not ever be wise enough, to assign a value to her life. I have never regretted that decision. Christina has been and is deeply loved.
But I also have no doubt that I would treat her Down syndrome if I could.
We have a lot in common; my eleven year old daughter is named Christina and she has Down syndrome and possibly autism as well. We are still seeking our third psychological evaluation to determine if the loss of speech and cognitive abilities she experienced in elementary school was due to autism. No one seems to understand why she can't speak anymore and has never learned to read more than a few words in seven years of school.
I agree that she would not choose to have Down syndrome if she could, she is isolated from the family not by our choice, but her lack of language makes some activities impossible for her to participate in, and we feel terribly guilty. Then she gets frustrated and throws something (I don't blame her) and goes off again to watch a movie alone.
My heart breaks for her loneliness. She has no friends, despite our best efforts,her lack of language makes it very difficult to play with her and only the rare child has the patience and understanding. Most just walk away staring at her.
Although she has made us better people, teaching us the same lessons you mentioned; clarifying priorities, learning to look at the soul not the exterior, we see her despondent at times as she struggles against obstacles she can't understand.
That's why I hate Down syndrome but love Christina.
Just like Dr Jerome Lejeune who discovered the third copy of the 21st chromosome and spent the rest of his life seeking to cure Down syndrome out of love for his patients. He said, "Hate the disease, love the patient, That is the practice of medicine."