A College Visit to Franciscan University of Steubenville

I have been preparing her for this all her life. When Gabbi my oldest of three daughters was five, we brought her to Franciscan University of Steubenville for Mass and told her, "you're going to college here some day." I didn't mean it lightly; a good Catholic college education was one of my goals for my daughters, albeit a far off goal when we were beginning homeschooling in 1998.

Gabbi and her friend Annete in front of the Chapel

Fast forward twelve years to last week, and her first visit to Franciscan for a college interview, Gabbi is applying to their RN program.  After twelve hours on the road, I should have been able to sleep soundly this night before her visit to Franciscan University, but I wasted time fighting my own feelings of loss.It was obvious to me that my daughter's heart has flown from our home to the college on the hill above the Ohio River.  A big, silent sob burst out of me. Thankfully Gabbi was already sleeping. Having my oldest daughter live 12 hours away from home is a sacrifice I knew would cost me dearly, but I didn't want to cast a shadow on her big day. It was what we both wanted and planned for during those twelve years since our visit.

She was up before me, nervously doing her hair as she made sure I wasn't late for her 8:30 nursing class. I had time to take in the university while she was gone, blooming flowers and students in shorts as a spring heat wave caused spring flowers to burst into early blooms. I was charmed by the kindness of the staff I met, no question was too detailed, and no story too long to capture their interest. We were soon on a tour of the campus. Statures of St Francis, Our Lady and Christ, soon made us feel at home and we were impressed with the guides' familiarity of the University Mission to bring Christ to the world, which they explained in detail throughout the tour.

The Portiuncula

The Student Center was colorful with bulletins announcing pro-life rallies, prayer vigils at abortion clinics, socials,  and famous speakers on bioethics. Students were sociable and polite, easy to engage in conversation and passionate whenever the Church was discussed. I was falling in love with this school and happily parted with Gabbi as she met one of her friends attending the school for lunch.
During the parents-only luncheon, the Admissions Director was peppered with questions about the faculty's adherence to the Magisterium and how many were Catholic. "We have five faculty members who are not Catholic," she answered, "there were six, but then one spoke to Scott Hahn!" I met parents who knew one of our new priests from the Diocese of Norwich, CT and suddenly home didn't seem so far away.

Prof Helen Alvare

Soon, I found myself alone for the evening, Gabbi was to spend the night in her friend's dorm room. What could have been an awkward moment, Mom feeling at odds in her daughter's school, was more of an opportunity,  as I had noted a number of prominent speakers on bioethics were present for a conference. I spent the rest of the day discussing issues of bioethics and sexual morality with former USCCB spokeswoman,  Helen Alvare who called Franciscan "ground  zero of Catholic Higher Education."
I discussed my book and my advocacy for the rights of babies with Down syndrome to a friendly audience engaged in the struggle against the Culture of Death. Helen Alvare warmly embraced me as thanks for my work and for writing "A Special Mother is Born".

John Paul II Library

I returned to the hotel alone yet grateful that my daughter would be attending a university which attracted such Catholic superstars and important discussions. The morning found us reuniting at Mass, one of three daily Masses packed with the entire student body who participated wholeheartedly, singing the hymns of both tradition and praise, in full voice. Later, we sat in the Perpetual Adoration Chapel, a scale model of St Francis' Portiuncula, amid a dozen students deep in prayer, and thanked God that my homeschooling efforts had been blessed with success, that Gabbi was qualified to study at such a fine Catholic school, but more for the fact that in her heart she longed for such a school where her mind and soul would be prepared to meet the challenges of bringing the culture of life to a darkened world.

We left the college after lunch, reluctantly, taking many photos and buying a shirt for everyone in the family. We were hoping to share our joy in our discovery of this wonderful college with the rest of our family, knowing that words would not be enough to convey the exuberant faith which emanates from this place. I prayed for an opportunity to attend, as my parents had, a summer conference at Franciscan with my husband Francisco, so that releasing our daughter to the world in this worthy college would be a triumph to him as well. We drove home over the Pennsylvania mountains leaving part of our hearts behind in what we knew had already become my daughter's second home, anxious for a chance to share our stories with our friends in Connecticut.

World Down Syndrome Day; An Extra Special Missionary

That's the title of the documentary Gabriela my 17 year old made to describe the missionary spirit in her sister Christina with Down syndrome. She spreads God's love everywhere she goes just by being who she is.
Watch the film on the Goodness Reigns website  here, and, if you like it, please vote for it in the People's Choice Competition.
Happy World Down syndrome day!

Feast of the Archangels Gabriel, Michael and Raphael

Happy feast day to my three archangels Gabriela, my daughter, Ralph, my dad, and Michael my nephew.
Now I'm going over to Servant of the Word to read the prayers and readings of today with my daughter while we eat a celebratory brownie!

Her mother's daughter

Sometimes the expression, "you're just like your mother" can be used as less than a compliment, but when I tell you about my mother's day gift, I mean it as high praise.

Growing up we used to make spiritual bouquets for the sick, or for someone like the bishop (what else could we possibly give him?). We adopted this custom when funds were low in our home, which seems to be the case in many homes.

So this morning, as I sat in my easy chair waiting for my morning coffee to energize my tired body, Gabbi came up to me with a small gift bag. On her class trip to Boston, she bought me a hyacinth votive candle with her spending money and wrote out this card with a spiritual bouquet.

I was thrilled, never have I needed one more. Right now, I am trying to make enough money to justify calling myself a full time Catholic writer, beginning by sending my book manuscript off to a Catholic publisher (please join me in prayer for it to be accepted). I know God is calling me to this vocation, yet I am struggling to trust Him to meet my family's financial needs while I give my talents to His service to spead the Gospel of Life.

We spent the morning at Mass, enjoying the lovely innocence of the First Communion children who were receiving their scapulars, and followed this with brunch in a country inn.

Ekonk Hill Turkey Farm

Today we went to an ice cream social with free ice cream sundaes with fresh homemade ice cream. It was at Ekonk Hill Turkey Farm, a deluxe farm stand and cafe about 20 minutes east of us at the CT /RI border in Sterling, CT.
We passed along route 49 over rolling hills dotted with farms, and an incredible panoramic view opened up to the Northeast, distracting me from my goal, the Brown Cow Cafe at the Farm. We did a U-turn, and found a cozy shop with a warm fire and friendly people scooping out this wonderful ice cream. Christina found a seat where she could watch the chickens, goose, and turkeys while enjoying the ice cream, and I checked out the preserves and chutneys on the shelves. Isabella tried the vanilla, Gabbi the chocolate, and I had Buttercup, a butter crunch.
A great way to celebrate Laerte Sunday for a family who is getting tired of forgoing sweets!

We will certainly find many excuses to return, the farm offers Turkey Pies, fruit pies and their own fresh beef and poultry including goose.

Want to drive your teenage daughter crazy?

NO, it's nothing conventional like cutting off her cell phone (she doesn't have one) or taking away her in-room TV (ditto) or credit cards (ditto). We who hold a pretty strict line on our teens or are cutting back with the struggling economy have to be more creative to find ways to keep our teens from thinking they run the house. Or finding out that they do already.
Since working at Isabella's school was initially an effective way to drive her nuts, but after four months, I was exhausted from taming middle schoolers, and she was starting to like the idea of being the teacher's kid, I had to change tactics.
SO, I got a job subbing for the Literature teacher at my 15 year old's high school. I won't be teaching her personally, but in an all girl's school, there are no secrets, so Gabbi was more than a little dismayed.
Next, I came back from Blogs for Life in Washington DC with a mandate to Twitter and get a profile on Facebook. Notice the profiles in the sidebar, and please understand as I tweak them. I'm new at this. Come visit me and be my friend.
I think going on Facebook bothered Gabbi more than becoming a teacher at her school.

She said, "I mean, MOM, Facebook is for cool people, come on!"
"And, so, I'm not cool, so no one will want be my friend, right?"

So, as my friends list grew, surpassing hers on the first day ( this is unfair, she has restrictions on her list imposed from on high) her frustration grew. Mom actually has friends on Facebook. Who knew old people were on Facebook?

True, I am not personal friends with everyone on my profile, but I would like to be. And I want to help the pro-life movement in it's time of greatest need. So I will Tweet and Facebook my way into a position where my photos of the March for Life reach far and wide, overcoming the fact that even Fox News wouldn't cover it.
Or NBC won't play this awesome video during the commercials.
Sorry, Gabbi. It's for the Cause.
Come follow me on Facebook and Twitter and lets' take over the means the Left used to take over this country, before we are blocked from them.
And show this video wherever you can, it's been blocked from YouTube too.
From Catholic Vote.com

Another snow day!

This is the very first snow day my girls have had with me as the stay at home mom and them as the go to school kids. No, I didn't say, "Oh NO! I wanted some time to myself". I looked forward to a day like the old days when we homeschooled for ten years. I looked forward to having some help with Christina who has been recovering with me from a cold all week, and to making popcorn and watching our favorite movies in bed.
And it's time to put away those Christmas decorations!
Did I mention that I have dozens of unfinished writing projects,and that since I temporarily retired from teaching at Bella's school, I have had only ONE day alone at home? A day which included packing for the March for Life (we spent three days in the Liason Hotel in DC, compliments of ALL' s pro-life blogger award) and crying as I watched the Inauguration.
So, yes, I'm still anxiously awaiting my first real day home alone, finally finishing the unpacking so I can invite friends without shame, and getting caught up with my writing. But meanwhile I'm enjoying the girls. And no one is getting dressed today!

Feast of the Archangels, Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael

Danielle Bean has a great post over at Faith and Family Live on how to celebrate this important feast with your little angels.

My father is Ralph, my daughter is Gabriela, and my nephew is Michael, so this is a big feast day in our home.

This is my favorite prayer:

St Michael the Archangle, defend us in battle,

be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil,

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray,

and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host,

Cast into hell, Satan, and all the demons who prowl around the world, seeking the ruin of souls.

Amen

How to make your teenage daughter cry

Tonight we were housecleaning for Dad's arrival from work. While I was busy in the bathrooms, I got my very first invite on a Hollywood junket; free plane, hotel, etc. to see a preview of High School Musical III as a film critic. Several other writers were invited, and one beat me to accepting it.
I made the mistake of telling Gabbi who accompanied me to Hollywood for the first time to see the premiere of "Mr Blue Sky", only we paid for that trip.
She won't let me leave the computer now.
Sigh. At least I don't have to fret about what I would wear!

My girls are on a brochure about Down sydrome

A press release from Concerned Women for America
State Director Anne Downey launches an informational resource for new parents
Washington, D.C. — Concerned Women for America (CWA) of New York today launched an international project aimed at reducing the 90 percent abortion rate for babies diagnosed with Down syndrome. This new project, developed in consultation with the major Down syndrome groups in America, makes available a free informational brochure titled, “When you’ve learned that your baby may have Down syndrome … There is help and hope!” The brochure offers reassurance to families facing a prenatal diagnosis and provides them with a list of resources and support groups to help them learn more about their baby’s opportunities. At the companion website, DownSyndromeBrochure.com¸ the brochure is available in English and Spanish for free download or for ordering of printed copies at a nominal charge. Eventually, CWA of New York intends to offer the brochure in many different languages and with country-specific versions, such as a French version listing agencies and resources in France.
The brochure is timely because of a December 2007 practice bulletin issued by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) which states, “After the diagnosis of a chromosomal abnormality, the patient should receive detailed information, if known, about the natural history of individuals with the specific chromosomal finding. In many cases, it may be very helpful to refer the patient to a genetic counselor or clinical geneticist and national groups such as The National Down Syndrome Society (www.ndss.org) or National Down Syndrome Congress (www.ndsccenter.org) to help the patient make an informed decision.” The brochure will allow busy OB/GYN doctors and others to provide expectant mothers with easy-to-read information.The brochure features the photographs of children and young adults with Down syndrome and their family members. Anne F. Downey, Esq., State Director for CWA of New York, says, “The brochure features the faces of a number of children and adults with Down syndrome. Each of the persons featured in the brochure came to me in a special way and has his or her own wonderful story to tell. In the photos you can see the joy that these young people and their family members have. Just looking at them, you can see that there truly is help and hope.”Medical professionals, disability groups and others wishing to obtain the brochure in large quantities may contact State Director Downey for special arrangements.Concerned Women for America is the nation’s largest public policy women’s organization.
I submitted this photo for inclusion in this brochure. Our family does have a happy story to tell about life with a child with Down syndrome. I try to tell it here every day.
We had no idea how popular this subject would be when the brochure came out.
Isn't God's timing great?!

It's not a cat and it doesn't fish

We have been discussing the flora and fauna of our new neighborhood in rural Connecticut with the locals. We live in the Quinebaug-Shetucket River valley, dubbed the last green valley on the over developed East Coast. Gabbi, who is my city girl, said, not without a bit of irony, "leave it to you, Mom to find the last green valley".
It's a beautifully rural area which seems to have escaped the ravages of modern development, colonial era farms dot the landscape and tiny rural villages surprise at the bend of a meandering road. We are getting excited as fall colors begin to tinge the leaves, thinking of the joys of discovering a new pumpkin farm, and pouring over pamphlets about October harvest events and nature walks. This little corner of New England is one of those areas of this nation which has retained it's unique regional flavor, and I am often surprised at how different it is culturally from Long Island, which is only an hour south of here. But that's another post.
I was asked by a friend to discuss the animal which is reputed to prowl the woods beyond our home; the Fisher Cat. Reintroduced to cut down the Porcupine population (was that a problem?) this ill-tempered member of the mink family is a threat to domestic animals like cats and small dogs. I had heard of them from friends in Northern Vermont and New Hampshire, but now they are down here in Eastern Connecticut, and I was not happy to hear it. They are particularly aggressive, and don't seem to be frightened off easily by humans or dogs.
My girls are afraid to let the cats out at night, since Fisher Cats are nocturnal, and our neighbor described a deep wound one of his cats received after an encounter with one of these 'weasels with an attitude'.Yikes!
We may be overreacting, but we are suburbanites, after all, the country life is new to us!

La Quincenera: Gabriela Maria

Gabbi is what the Latinos call "La Quincinera", the young lady celebrating her fifteenth birthday.

In Mexico, I was able to attend a Quincinera Mass at the Cathedral in Hermosillo. The young lady dedicated her chastity to the Blessed Virgin Mary as she entered society, a Catholic debutante. I was invited to a Salvadorean girl's party which was as lavish as a wedding, with limousines, and a catering hall, and friends dressed in bridesmaid dresses and tuxedos.
I think such celebrations are way overdone in terms of cost, but the idea of a Mass where a young woman promises chastity during her courtship years is one which Evangelicals have picked up on in some ways better than Catholics. I can hear you say, "why don't you, Leticia?" Don't worry, I'm already thinking of something for Gabbi's sweet sixteenth party. . .

Meanwhile, let me wish my daughter all the love she has brought to me. Gabbi is my first child, who endured all my new mother nervousness as she screamed with colic for hours on end her first three months. She taught me how to mother, and then began to mother her little sisters, especially Christina. To understand their close relationship, read her prizewinning essay, "My Sister is Special". No wonder she's in demand as a babysitter!

She is the charming young lady whose Latin is better than mine, who teaches me the Latin hymns she sings in Holy Angels Schola, which will be singing for a Mass on my birthday June 28 (I can't think of a better gift). She's the sharp dresser who can make modest clothing look cool, and whose fashion advice I consult before any of my big events. I wouldn't even think of going out the door if Gabbi says, "you're going to wear that?"
After ten years of being homeschooled, Gabbi works all day on her own, sometimes doing her papers late a night, after she finally gets Mom away from the computer. She is my right hand around the house, always seeing what needs to be done, and quietly doing it.
Always ready for our family jokes with her brilliant smile, she has a great sense of humor and, like her mother loves to play softball. She used to play in the school field behind our backyard, she'd climb over the back fence when she was late to practice. She is already counting the days till she can take her road test (about 360) and I have a feeling that she won't be home much longer, so I try to cherish every moment we have left.
Gabbi dreams of being a Nurse Practitioner because, as she says, "I like working with people," and she understands how difficult marriage is when one is working the long hours of a doctor. She already has her CPR certification and is much calmer than I in a crisis. She'll be a wonderful nurse, she is gentle, compassionate, smart and connects easily with anyone she comes across. She is in great demand as a best friend.
God has great plans for you, my sweet oldest daughter, and as long as you continue in His friendship, trusting your future to His providence, it will be amazing.

Our Lady of Guadalupe Friary Traditional Mass video

This video explains why I want to live within five minutes of this wonderful Friary. God is calling my heart, I just have to trust Him to work out the details, like Christina's school. The older girls spent Friday at their prospective schools in Baltic, and Isabella is fully convinced this is for her. Gabbi is not so sure. . .
Please keep my family in your prayers, as we make these important decisions.

My Montage of the Papal Rally at Dunwoodie

Papal Youth Rally 4/19/08

Thanks to my dear readers

I posted an urgent call for help this morning as Gabriela couldn't find an ID card to attend the Youth Rally at Dunwoodie tomorrow.All your suggestions and prayers bore fruit, and she will be going with an ID card from the youth group in New Rochelle, and another from Seton Home School.
God bless you, I will be praying for your intentions at the rally, interviewing teens for the Register, and taking LOTS of photos to share with you.

Dr Brian Skotko

On Friday we had a moment to meet Dr. Brian Skotko at the Best Practices in the Education of Children with Down Syndrome Conference at LIU at CWPost in Brookville, LI. I have written on the outstanding advocacy work done for our children by Dr. Skotko, and Friday my older daughters and I attended his talk "Brothers and Sisters;Questions and Answers" in which he shares the fascinating perspective of the siblings of children with Down syndrome, from his many workshops. Since I had to work Saturday, and miss the sibling workshop he gave at the Conference, my girls and I were pleased to hear his summary of the questions and answers.
The questions ranged from the simple and straightforward, "Does it take her longer to learn things?" to the heartbreaking, "Why doesn't my brother have any friends?".
Dr. Skotko is an engaging speaker who involved the audience and spoke humorously about his personal experiences overprotecting his little sister Kristen with Down syndrome.
He discussed the technique of reflecting the question back to your child to clarify the question within a question, as in, "What do you mean when you said 'will she be different?' and the affirmation, "that's an excellent question" to put their fears of offending mom to rest. Fears and negative feelings should be aired to help siblings deal with the situations their encounter and the emotions they evoke. The parent can empathize with the sibling as in "I feel embarrassed when she throws tantrums in public too", to validate the child's emotions.
Dr. Skotko has an upcoming talk at the NDSC Conference in Boston, and I hope to see him again there. He's a wonderful advocate for children with Down syndrome, and it was an honor to have met him.
My girls were enthusiastic about the presentation, however, they admitted it contained few surprises. Down syndrome's effect on Christina is a frequent topic at the Velasquez home, and they gave me a good mark for fielding their questions. I mark it up to homeschooling. First of all, they get to observe Christina and her therapies closely, second we are all so close and discussion goes on all day.
The most striking part of the talk, however, is it's beginning. Dr. Skotko quoted the latest research on how siblings are affected by Down syndrome, and the data is encouraging. There is more positive interaction (kindness,less conflict) in families with a child with DS, the siblings are less prone to behavioral problems, and through more care giving, they have increased levels of empathy.
Now it's mom's turn not to be surprised. I have already seen these effects in Gabbi and Bella. The call to special motherhood is also a family vocation, a call to extra love, which Our Lord so gladly gives to families with special siblings. Anyone who thinks it's 'unfair' to give birth to a child with Down syndrome needs to know this: it will ultimately bring out the best in your other children. It won't be easy, but worthwhile things are seldom easy.
Christina is a blessing to our entire family, and has made us more the people Jesus calls us to be.

My Gibson Girl

Today I passed Gabbi as she sat doing her work, and her beautiful hair was artfully put up in her favorite 'sloppy bun'. I said, "you remind me of a Gibson Girl". She had no idea what I meant, so here's an explanation of this cultural icon of the turn of the last century.

Our Special Children in Church

Barbara Curtis at Mommy Life has three sons with Down syndrome. She has a post about how special needs sons have fit into various church communities. Here's my comment:

We often end up in the 'crying room' of our church, and never take a seat towards the front, as Christina, (age 5 with Down syndrome) is completely unpredicatable. She'll be sitting quietly, even participating (last Sunday I heard her singing "Alleluia") and suddenly become unmanageable, making us take her out to the vestibule. Gabbi usually volunteers to take her out, leaving me to pray, but I try to call them back to say the Our Father as a family. By and large, however, I must say that our parishoners' reactions have been welcoming. We get smiles and special handshakes at the Sign of Peace. The priest usually gives her a blessing at Communion time.

Perhaps this has something to do with a regular column I started in my parish newspaper, Eagle's Wings. I feature a different special needs parishoner each issue, with the hopes that this will give people something to say to them next time they run into them at Mass. Sometimes people want to reach out to someone with disabilities, but lack the words. I hope that knowing the person's name has helped to ease the process of starting a friendship.

I'll be posting these articles in the future.

Morning Star Camp

Yesterday I drove 10 hours round trip to drop Gabbi and Bella at Morning Star Camp. What could induce a protective homeschooling mother to leave her precious daughters in the wilderness with a hundred strange girls?

Why Morning Star? Fear is such big part of society today. Young people are taught to be cautious for their body and soul, not only among strangers and in public, but even at school and among their own peers. Gone are the happy days of childhood, when summer meant a few months of wholesome fun in the sun. Nowadays, summer vacation activities can be more dangerous than life in the city streets. Making friends indiscriminately can often change an individual for the worse and require facing consequences of serious mistakes. To enhance your values, it is good to surround yourself with peers who have been raised by the same standards of Faith and Morals. By association and example this will have lasting effects on the young.So in order to create such a wholesome summertime experience for Catholic girls across the country, the Sisters, Slaves of the Immaculate Heart of Mary, offer Morning Star Camp which they have directed for over twenty-five years. And yes, safe surroundings and good example do have a lasting effect on the young: Each year there is an overwhelming response from campers looking to return. When all the laughing and singing, swimming, canoeing, dancing, fun and games have been finished, parents will find their campers sunburnt and happy with new friends among the campers and Sisters. And what is more, they have a better knowledge and love of their Faith and the spirit to be able to stand up against the odds and say, “I am a Catholic…in everything I do.”

The hardest thing, to my surprise, wasn't leaving the girls behind, they were quickly absorbed into camp life, and nearly forgot to say goodbye. The hardest thing was NOT begging the sisters for a tent and staying myself.

Here's a slideshow from Morning Star Camp 2006. I can't wait to hear from the girls on Saturday.

HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY GABBI !!!

To the teenager who, fourteen years ago, gave me the best job I've ever had; motherhood.
Thank you for being my sweet, fashionable, gorgeous oldest daughter.
You made my dearest wish come true, a teenager you can talk to, who helps around the house, and loves her sisters(and her parents). You taught me how to homeschool you, and in a few short years, you will teach me how to let go of a grown child.
God bless you.
Love,
Mom